Quick Note

before I drag myself to bed. Have eaten amazingly for the past 3 days, although today was even better than the other two. 839 cal's & 2 carbs. I am 148 today so, a lb down. I cannot complain about a loss no matter how insignificant & 1 lb is significant to me.

Today

is a crazy day! Yesterday I weighed 155 and today I woke up and weighed 149.2! How can you lose 5.2 lbs in 1 day? Water weight, I guess. I am not complaining at all! I have eaten good yesterday & today, yay for me! 937 cal's & 26 carbs today

This may not seem

like the ideal day to start back on track but, any day is as good as any other right? And, there is no time like the present. So, here I am back with a vengeance! I am mad at myself and that fuels me! I do not hate my complete self, just the part that tries to take over and control me. When I am in control of myself & it, then I am happy. By the way, I am 155 today... very sad.

Don't Really

want to go into the last 3 days but, tomorrow is a new day! Thank goodness! I have a friend that I plan to see in roughly a week. I want to lose as much weight as I can in a week. I will probably want to cry on the scale tomorrow, especially because I just started tonight.

Having A Crisis

Because I am scared that I am not worried that I weigh 153 today! It sucks but, it is not bothering me as much as I think it should. The fact that it is not more of a crisis, is a huge concern for me. What is the problem? Where has my motivation gone? Where is my Mojo?

Good or Bad news first?

Bad new is, I have been eating like a freak for 2 days, I am up to 150, probably more in the morning & I am fat!!! The good news? Oh, I forgot, there is no good news.

Have to Say

that I did it today (well, it is technically now Tuesday) Monday = 3.3 carbs & 963 calories! I am so happy with that today. On top of that? I had no alcohol today... I wanted it but I refrained. I am back baby!!!

Today - Bellies

1:07

And still going strong. I am not drinking today!!! I really want to right now but, I am not. Lately it has been making me too weak to resist my food urges.

Great so far this morning!

One cup of coffee, but it's only almost 11 am.

This morning...

I am 152.0 - I have no excuses, I have been careless and a little depressed and that equals food in disgusting amounts. Today, I am back to my happiness of low-carb/low-cal life because I can tell you right now, food doesn't make me happy when I am eating it & I am not happy now.

Epic Fail

That is all I can post for now... That is how disgusted with myself I am!!!

How did I do this?

Ate all that I did yesterday and only gain 1 lb? I am amazed right now! I am going to take this as a sign to get my ass in gear and go with it!!! I have to do this! Okay, sometimes I need to spell out my goals to make them more real. I am 148 right now, I have been as low as 132... Now, I want to be 128, so I have to lose 20 lbs! If I would have not been such a DA, I would have only had to lose 6, but I am, so I do. But, this is totally ok... I can do this. Low Carb all the way!!! 1st thing, coffee this morning.

My husband

is a sabotage today... Although I did tell him that I had already eaten badly today. He bought me a SPARKS which, I love but has like 40 carbs and 300 cal's. Ok, so tomorrow I am going to get up and be brand new back to my old awesome obsessive dieting self. I miss me! This fat person staring back is not her, who are you oh lard one? Get out of my peripheral. Get outta my mirror and my face!

Binging & Spiraling

Spiraling & Binging. That has been my cycle today. I am headed downward, it is not good. I have to get my focus back! Here boy, where are you? Focus, come here!!! I have lost my way and need to find it again! I am a low-carb person and I lost over 50 lbs doing that, and today I am thinking I can just eat normal, or worse than normal? What am I thinking? Was 147 this morning and I am really scared about tomorrow.

A bit

surprised this morning, weighed and was 147 and not 150 like I was preparing for.

I know

I am going to be fatter tomorrow because it is 1 am and I am drinking a beer and was not strict today. I really want to change my recently developed bad habits. I was 152 yesterday & 148 today... Spiraling.... Feel like I need to get a life, quit drinking & start running!