Really Wish

that I had a friend that could relate to me & vise versa on subjects of weight loss & family. Another mom who wants to be a "hot mom" someone her husband/boyfriend and kid can be really proud of.

Today

I have to figure out at least a week of exercise for myself and how I am going to incorporate that in. I want to train for a 5k, and use my equipment at home. I am starting Jan 1st (cliche, cliche) but I am pretty dang good at sticking to things now so I am not worried about blowing it. Maybe I will start out with treadmill in morning before anyone is up, and Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. Yeah, that sounds like a plan! That actually takes care of 30 days and whatever else I want to add in there during the month. Summer, bikini, here I come!!!

Surprised!

About my weight today. I basically woke up thinking that I was going to weigh 153/154 because I drank some alcoholic egg nog last night, cookie dough ice cream, cookie dough, chips & sour cream and half a tamale. I feel huge this morning, and I am... but not as bad as I thought -148-. I can deal with 148 a lot better than 154! Only 10 lbs and I will be back in the 130's. Having family pictures taken at the end of the month, so I want to be skinny. I will be skinnier -128-

Can't Remember

the date of my last entry... but, I know it has been at least a couple weeks. So, last Friday I weighed 138 and after a week of my sister visiting and nonstop eating out and late nights with some alcohol today I weigh a disturbing 151!!! And I did not eat well today either. That is all I have to say about that, makes me wanna cry right now. I mean, I know I cna deal and get the weight off no problem but, it is frustrating when you feel like you are back to square one.

Whiskey & Diet

My Drink of choice at home. It is 111 w/2 shots & no carbs. My other go-to is Michelob Ultra 95 Cal's & 2.6 carbs. BTW, I use Diet Pepsi & McCormick Whiskey. If I were to shoot Whiskey it would be Jack or Makers Mark

Happy Tuesday!

Yes, I am actually in a pretty good mood this morning! I am not happy that after another eventful weekend binge that I was up to 146 yesterday! I am not happy about that at all. But, I have the entire week to get my head on straight. I ate extremely well yesterday and am down to 143 this morning. I guess I will be lucky to be down to 138 by Saturday. I am hoping 135 or lower but, that is extreme wishful thinking...

One Forty Six

Yep, that is what I weigh on the dot this morning! I hate it but, I will get it right back off this week!!!

Binge Binge Binge Binge

That is how many days I have been doing that! Ugh, I feel so disgusting! But, all is not lost. I am getting back on the high road tomorrow and I am not stopping until... never! No more of this up & down stuff. But, my first goal is to be at the highest 132 by Christmas Day. No binging at least until then, for a goal.

Yay!

I am motivated again, bordering obsessive. I am always at that line between out of control and totally got it together. I teeter, and some days are better than others but, there are those days that all the planets align and everything goes MY way, I love it! So, yesterday I weighed in and I was at 139, and... I started my . Today I weighed and I was 137! Only 2 more lbs till I am back at my original goal weight and then I can work on my next goal of 125-128 - I will be happy anywhere around there. People are already telling me that is too skinny, I think it is perfect and is not even anywhere being underweight. I am hoping I am at 135 tomorrow but, I have a feeling it will be 136 because I know my body so well. But, I am happy non-the-less.

My food today

Mon, Dec 06 2010 Day Complete: View Analysis
Grade Grams Cals
Sugar Free Rockstar C 960 40
Coffee (Filter) 356 4
Whiskey - 40% Volume 50 111
Breakfast
Thick Sliced Bacon - Bacon D 26 139
Dinner
Beef, Loin, Bottom Sirloin Butt, Tri-tip Roast - Separable Lean Only, Trimmed To 0" Fat, All Grades, Cooked, Roasted B- 85 155
Jalapeno Cheddar dog 160
Jalapeno Cheddar dog 160
Snacks
Tillamook 110
Total Calories Consumed 878
Total Carbs 2

So,

tomorrow I expect to be no heavier than 140! My body will succumb to my will!!!

Have done

sooooo much better today! Yes, I could have done better but, after eating all the crap that I ate last weekend, I am left with a lot of cravings for what my body does not need! It's like a small child inside and when it see's oreo's and candy & bread etc etc, basically everything it cannot have it begs for it and I have to be the parent that know's best what is good for my body and I have to sternly say "No!" And it whines and cries a little but, it eventually gets over it. But, it starts new everyday. There are good days and bad days. Days when it is totally mellow and behaves and days where it is just a raging terror! I know this, I have a 2.5 yr old son.

Weighed this morning

and my weight was 142.2, aaaaaah! But, on the up side, not as high as I thought it might be. This is not really in line with me getting to 128 by Dec 25th. But, I still think that I can do it! My 1st goal is to be back down to 135 on or before next Friday, so that gives me 5 days and I know I can do that! Here is an example of what I eat:

Breakfast:
Eggs
Coffee w/SF creamer & splenda
Bacon 2 pieces

Lunch:
2 Cups Salad
1 oz feta
4 oz of fish or chicken
Ranch Dressing

Dinner:
Chicken
Steamed Veggies

12-15 carbs & around ,1000 cal's

This has been

a crazy weekend for me eating wise. I binged today badly!!! I am not even sure what I weigh tonight but, I am sure it is horrendous! I weighed 138 last Friday which was not too shabby. I am going to contribute it to PMS. I am not usually this ravenous. Well, I will let you know in the morning what my weight is and what my plan of action is.
Good Night