8 lbs down from Monday to Friday

not too shabby, I would say. I was hoping to at least be down 1 more lb today as I hate weighing the same 2 days in a row but, that's ok. I am at the weekend though & this is my hardest time to binge +++. I hope I can be strong! 142 today

Well

Looks like my restricting is really paying off. Down to 144 this morning, I was hoping for 143, but fatties can't be choosers. Only 15 more lbs until my next awesome goal!

Kelly Carlson (I love her, she is 35 next month)

Sooooo

I ate super-great yesterday! About 650 calories & 5.2 carbs. So proud of myself but, it is only the beginning! I have a long ways to go!!! Because as I mentioned before... My new goal is 128. I was at 147 this morning so, that makes me 19 lbs away. That is not really a lot or unattainable but, harder to accomplish as I get lower.

My Problem?

You ask? Binging & Alcohol! Once I start binging, then I also start drinking more. That is a lot of very empty calories! Where has it gotten me? 150 lbs, that's what! I am ashamed to even admit it but, it helps me be more accountable. So, thank you.w

Don't really

want to discuss last weekend, epic fail...again! What is my problem? I lost over 50 lbs and now all of a sudden I can't control myself? B.S! I own this body & it obeys me!!! 148 this morning.

Quick

stop in for today. I have been eating great, and was 142 this morning. Getting closer to my 135! I can do it!!!

What is the verdict?

I ate super-duper-good yesterday and today I am 147. Better than 150 right? Well, that is the thinking that gets me thru the day anyways.

I know some are turned off by

Bodybuilding but, there is something about it that I love. Maybe it's that they are different, maybe it's that they get off their asses and work hard for what they want! I do not like it when they straight up look like a man but, I do love muscles with that feminine quality.

Just came across

Not sure why I like...

This is Sexy... To me

Yeah Baby!

Yes

I am here again, thank you for asking. Where you ask? Oh, only spiraling downward into an abyss of deep dark hatred and fat. Obese/Abyss hmmmmmmm. Ate terrible for the last 4 days and I really cannot tell you why or myself why. I just know that I feel outta control with eating and drinking. I know we are already 10 days into 2011 but I do have a resolution of a healthier me. Not so much to drink and much better foods. I need to do this for MY happiness and also the health and happiness of my family because when mama ain't happy, no one else seems to be, lol. I really, really want to become more of a runner, and I am not really sure what is holding me back except myself and laziness.
Well, I am going to be accountable by telling you that I am back up to 150.0 on the dot. I mean, I know that I can do it, that is not the problem. But, it pisses me off that I have to re-lose and I lose motivation, not lbs. Ugh

I have a hard time

with most thinspo, because all the girls are 14+. They look great but my body is not the same in my 30's as it was in my teens (thank goodness) I love my body more now and it feels so much sexier now. So, I find thinspo in Cameron Diaz etc.

This is what I have to do

Something I like about this one.

Another Random (www.photobucket.com)

Thought We needed some pics! Annalynne

I ate

Amazingly good yesterday! Around 900 cal's and 2 carbs. And what is the verdict this morning? Down to 144. Happy? Well, happy I am not in the 150's! I will be very happy when I am 10 lbs lighter than this but, it's a start. Ugh, 4 days into the new year and I still have not exercised!

Looked At

some races but, have made no commitment to one yet. I did find some trails to train on near my home though, that was cool. I have eaten really great today, proud of myself especially after stuffing myself for over a week. Tonight or tomorrow back in the 140's! No, I am not excited about that but, have to be happier over that than being even bigger into the 150's right? So, I am thinking I want to be at my goal weight by Jan 29th. The reason is, I want to have a family photo taken. I have been married almost 13 years and my son will be 3 and we have never had a family photo as of yet. Not just me and my hubby and not the three of us. I think it is time.

I don't even want to

go into what I have been doing for more than a week. Eating and eating and eating, oh and drinking. My sister whom I had not seen in 9 years came to visit. It was a great visit and I met her new hubby and we went out to eat a lot! I thought, oh I will just get it all back off when they leave which was last Thursday evening. I ate excellent on Friday and lost 2 lbs. Then my hubby made waffles Saturday morning and it was all downhill from there. Candy, drinks, crackers, cheese. Then Sunday we went to lunch with friends and I just kept on-a-eatin'. And what did I weigh this morning? A whopping 151!!! Ugh, how sick is that? I can go from 137 to 151 in a little over a week! Well, it is a new year! I am on a new venture to of course now lose the weight once again and now to get toned! I know that if I can lose over 50 lbs that I can get what I have left-over into shape! My newest goal is 125-128 and to get toned!!! I really want to train for a 5k! I have been saying that forever! When am I just going to do it??? I will look into it today and letcha know.