Why, oh why

do I have to be a complete failure? 158 this morning, ick, ick, ick! On top of that I am very late with my period (I call it on the dot) wouldn't that be great to get pregnant at this weight & then have to get really huge! I am 99% sure that I am not but, these thoughts cross my mind. On top of all of this, I feel very alone even with my husband and it is wreaking havoc on my esteem & I feel depressed which in turn does not help my eating plan. I am hating life right now!