I am

a truly disgusting individual. I was 160 yesterday, I am not even sure what I am at 4:00 am right now. I am bloated, fat and feel like there is no hope. I know there is, I know my body will lose this weight if I just quit abusing it! For some reason I am out of control with eating and drinking. I hate myself right now. Maybe this self-loathing can fuel my desires. I have not figured out how yet.